Monday, January 30, 2012

Ramblings On Sex And Religious Conscience Exemptions

Jesus understood legislating Platonic ideals was an exercise in futility.  People evolve and mature into living those ideals.  Our Bishops seem to have a different less 'human' understanding--especially when it comes to sex and women.


I have to admit I have found the religious conscience exemption brouhaha over birth control to be utterly fascinating.  There have been millions of words written on this topic in the course of the last month.  Too many of them utter hysteria, and most of those kinds of words coming from the mouths of Catholic Bishops.  I do agree with these bishops on one point, this has now become a battle with serious implications for religious freedom, who gets it, how far it goes, and whether conscience clauses are the domain of the individual or another ill advised extension of individual rights to corporate entities.

What I really hope is the Catholic conversation gets much deeper, goes beyond the religious freedom debate and into the heart of matter.  I can not get past the fact that at this moment in time everything uttered by our Catholic leadership is sexually oriented.  It doesn't matter if it's the dissembling about the clergy abuse scandal or gay marriage or abortion or now the current birth control debate.  The Catholic conversation is about sex.  For a while the Liturgical changes took center stage, but inevitably the hierarchical conversation always comes back to sex, and always about sex as it pertains to women and gay men--which really means men who act sexually like women.  Rarely, if ever, do we hear anything about sexual morality as it applies to straight men--see the recent Catholic convert and multiple adulterer Newt Gingrich.

All this talk about controlling the sexuality of women and gays sends one incredible message about Catholic spirituality.  That message seems to be the if humanity can 'control' their sexual urges they become instantly spiritual.  Unfortunately that's not true.  Usually humanity becomes emotionally and spiritually stunted because their sexuality never gets integrated into the totality of their person.  They are always at war with a very deep and powerful aspect of the human condition.  Spiritual peace is very difficult to achieve under this set up--as is any form of real wisdom and maturity.

The even deeper message is that straight men can only become more spiritual by forcing women to be the controlling agent of male sexuality.  In heterosexual marriage it's women who have the moral mandate to say "NO", but not the physical or psychological strength to enforce it.  Historically this arrangement has worked out terribly for millions and millions of children who weren't wanted or couldn't be supported by either of their biological parentsI know, I work with the 'fruits' of this arrangement every single day.  I tire of hearing my clients say they would have been better off aborted or never born.  I should probably mention here that my clients are the sickest of the sickest.  For the most part they are the mentally ill who have been sexually and physically abused as children, born of addicted or mentally ill mothers, abandoned by their biological parents, and raised in the children's institutional system.  They wouldn't recognize real love in their lives unless it was accompanied by a kick in the head.  Too many of them were raised Catholic.

Forced sexual discipline is not spirituality, especially when that forced discipline is only directed at one gender. It's just an exercise in male self delusion.  Jesus didn't address individual sexual morality except in context of marital infidelity.  If there's a message there it isn't about birth control, and it isn't about gay marriage, and it isn't about abortion.  It's about marital infidelity and casting stones at 'others'.  People don't become saints because they don't engage in sex.  They become saints by relating deeply with others and not demanding sexual gratification as an inherent right or without accepting the responsibility for the consequences. 

The fundamental flaw in this whole Catholic debate is our sexual morality is being written and 'enforced' exclusively by  male celibates who think sexual continence is some how related to 'holiness' and who seem to firmly believe that unless men take vows of chastity on behalf of and under the direction of Holy Mother Church  it's up to regular unholy women to set the boundaries on the sexual lives of the less devoted males.  It's no wonder real life men and women have utterly rejected Humanae Vitae and roll their eyes at JPII's Theology of the Body.  Those two papal teachings might work well in some Platonic world of absolute ideals, but that's not the world lay Catholics actually live in.



18 comments:

  1. The only reason I can see for sexuality to be the huge factor it is in the RCC is if the RCC is in fact at its heart nothing more than a fertility [or perhaps a fertility-control] cult. If this is the most basic and true function of the RCC in human society, then and only then does the hierarchy have reason to focus so exclusively on the only right way to have a relationship that includes sexual expression. All the rest - the prayers, liturgy, sacraments, Mass, art, music, etc - is then reduced to so much window-dressing. Or the proverbial cold shower.

    Where does this leave a person who is looking for help in developing a relationship with God? Where does this leave a person who wants an authentic marital relationship even within the confines dictated by the RCC? The Theology of the Body really doesn't touch on these aspects and so it has been rightfully rejected by so many of the laity.
    Veronica

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  2. Good to see you back, Colleen. :)

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    1. T'pel, my work schedule has changed in the last couple of months and it's really hard for me to find the time to post as frequently as I did. Mostly I post now only on my days off which means I'm not posting as frequently as I would like.

      Amongst some other things I noticed today, this particular post is my 1001st. It's hard for me to believe I've babbled on that many times, but I'm very glad they must still be interesting enough for you to miss them. :)

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    2. Awww...

      Just when I thought I was special. I am glad the word verification ghost still gives me a laugh from time to time. On that comment about virtues and sins it gave me "likeem". Like 'em? Whatever do you mean digital spirit? Do I like virtue or sin? Hmmm.

      p2p

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    3. I definitely miss your posts. I'm stuck in a part of the country where the fundamentalist Catholics pretty much run the show. It does get rather lonely. So the thoughtful and relational interaction here is very important to me. I like NCR too, but the thoughtful commenters get nearly drowned out by the trolls. And while it's not a blog without the 1 or 2 trolls who come back every now and again under a different name, the trolls here are not so numerous and/or vicious they put me off.

      And believe me, I understand the need to work around a changeable work schedule.
      Veronica

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  3. "Rarely, if ever, do we hear anything about sexual morality as it applies to straight men--see the recent Catholic convert and multiple adulterer Newt Gingrich."

    So true that we never hear about that. How cafeteria-like.

    And yes, where are the teachings of Jesus in any of the sex talk coming from the Bishops?

    I grow weary of the Catholic conversation.

    Butterfly

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  4. Thanks, Colleen. It is especially hard to see all the ink about "Catholics furious at contraceptive mandate." The BISHOPS are furious; lay Catholics, not so much--and I'd like to see more in the media about the fact that faithful Catholics by the millions do not agree with their church hierarchy's opinions on contraception or gay marriage. While Their Excellencies persist in their sex-centric flutter, they embarrass the rest of us. I really don't remember a time when I've been as reluctant to call myself a Catholic. Hanging on by a thread here.

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  5. Callie, I don't understand that reluctance either. I hate to admit this, but I think it has everything to do with Bishops controlling in some form or another most of the Catholic voice by 'virtue' of money. This is why I keep faith in the National Catholic Reporter. Outside of a few writers who have had to sell their soul for access, it's the only voice of another side.

    Butterfly, their is no side, including the teachings of Jesus, that supercede our hierarchy. At least in their own minds and those of other cultural powerbrokers. This is why I welcome the current brouhaha over birth control and gay marriage. If more laity and clergy say 'enough' the change we need will finally come about. It's not about 'right' sex. It's about love.

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    1. Platonic Divide, now with added virtues and sins!

      Heaven = Virtue :: Earth = Sin
      Chastity, Purity :: Lust
      Temperance, Self-Restraint :: Gluttony, Over-Indulgence
      Charity, Giving :: Greed, Avarice
      Diligence, Integrity, Labor :: Sloth, Laziness, Idleness
      Forgiveness, Composure :: Wrath, Anger
      Humility, Humbleness :: Pride Vanity
      Kindness, Admiration :: Envy, Jealousy

      p2p

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    2. I hate to admit this p2p but I kept wondering why some of your comments were in a different color. As I wrote below, I finally realized blogger has a reply function. I think down here on the sinful earth plane we don't need any more Platonic divides.

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  6. My question was a joke, Colleen.

    I've reached the absolute limit of having zero tolerance left for the current hierarchy. You are free to welcome the brouhaha over birth control and gay marriage.

    Any change is going to take a long time. In the 1840s there were no female ministers except for a Baptist Church in New England somewhere. Now most Christian denominations have women who are ministers. Just about every Church except for the Roman Catholic Church has women ministers and deacons. It is way past time for the change that needs to come about.

    If these old guys running the circus in the Vatican can't accept women, they will never accept gays.

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    1. I just noticed Blogger now has a reply function. How observant of me.

      I have a great deal of sympathy for your frustration. I guess I'm hoping against hope that all the brouhaha will entice Catholics who don't normally get involved in these debates to start getting involved, at least on enough of a personal level to understand their silence is enabling an enormous amount of harm to be perpetrated on innocent people by our hierarchy.

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    2. I just noticed the new reply feature too, right after my last posting.

      I sure wish people would speak up who haven't, who have something positive to offer for the future of the Catholic Church. We all have a voice and need to voice it. As best we can, for the love of God.

      I've been deeply saddened by what is going on in the Church. Yes, I see the beauty of Faith and yet I see how it is being turned into something else all together that is not healthy for anyone who simply desires to grow in their faith, heal from the wounds, create a life and give witness to God's grace and love.

      So much is really lost in the conversation when the majority of the energy of the Catholic conversation is all about various scandals of priest no less, crazy political views & alliances, etc. & a response from the hierarchy of not-so pastoral priests which begs for merciful & loving reform.

      Many times I have had to back out of the conversation because it just gets so overwhelming sometimes to witness the ugly truths that are exposed. I would love to see the world with rose colored glasses on, but then I wouldn't be living in the real world.

      I'm glad somebody has sympathy for my frustration. :-) If the Church were a big old tree, it's the storms that do the pruning & its the rotten parts that come crashing down first. There is just too many hundreds of years of rotten scandals and popes that don't get it, as well the loyalist, the cronies, the saps who drain the truth into a black hole in the universe. That tree needs pruning and there's nothing like the wind of the fierce and mighty pen or blog or comment to keep the good spirit churning and moving things forward and doing some healthy pruning.


      This issue of birth control has been buried and festering for way too long. Most Catholics have just ignored the mandate though as many Catholics are aware. If the rhythm method of birth control is allowed, using a more scientifically proven method of birth control seems a no-brainer to most.

      Your points, so many of them in the thousands, have gotten across to this ole gal. Thank you for your blog and for connecting the dots.

      Butterfly

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    3. "If the Church were a big old tree, it's the storms that do the pruning & its the rotten parts that come crashing down first."

      Excellent analogy and aren't we starting to witness the pruning process now. And you are also right about the issue of birth control festering for way too long. It's way too late to lance that boil. The laity have moved far beyond the need for lancing.

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    4. There is a whole lot of pruning to be done, fer sure, and we are seeing some signs of the pruning process going on. No one is left out of the process, as we are all members of the same big tree of life we call the Church. It seems to me that the enablers, those closest to the falling rotten tree limbs in the storms will fall along with the rotten and feel it too. Best they right what is clearly wrong in the institutional Catholic Church that is diseasing & poisonous and cut and run before the storm of truth and justice hits again.

      Butterfly

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  7. The sexual issue is the chief issue by which the Institutional RCC attempts to control people with fear and self loathing. For a church that claims to understand a natural law, the Institutional "understanding" of sex is extremely distorted. Mind and body are part of a whole humanity one that uses eroticism as creative not as sinful.

    The church attempts to define what is very natural the bodily function of human sexuality as something that can be perfected by advocating the mind over body in a perfect union with what they define as Godly. This division of mind and body via perfection vs human natural emotion and need is truly against nature.

    What it does is to pervert the psychological mind set of any who attempt to practice celibacy for it attempts to remove eroticism of all kinds from the minds and hearts of these men. What we see instead of creativity in this mindset is perversion. We see the perverted eroticism at work in a Cardinal Ratzinger who censures the thoughts of nearly all the great theologians of our time.

    Think of all the creative growth the church would have today had so many of these wonderful ideas had the chance to grow and develop inside of an Institutional church. Instead this creativity was stunted stopped in its tracks inside the institution. Ratzinger turned his own eroticism into a perverted perfectionism that is impossible of not only one finite person but an Institution of finite beings. The perfection of spirit required by a life time of celibacy has in of itself been shown to be impossible by the figures about celibacy derived by Richard Sipe (a married former Benedictine monk and Psychological therapist to priests) showing that around 90% of all celibates break their vows when their own definition of masturbation is included in this vow. As a psychoanalyst, I believe this figure is not 90% but 99,999 % plus. In other words the perfectionism required of their own clerical membership is impossible. Surprise, surprise perfectionism in a finite human is impossible!

    The worst part about this idealization of human lack of sexuality, asexuality, is that it stunts the creativity of ALL who attempt to practice it because it introduces as a mortal sin the lack of perfection in man. Wow no wonder the only answer these men can come up with in the sexual scandal is that all humanity is indeed sinful and we must pray. This type of prayer has NOTHING to do with human spirituality but only is an exercise in officially sanctioned perversion of spirit that fails to lead humans to creativity and growth and development.

    For those who are interested in this way of thinking, I highly recommend the book "The Unhealed Wound" written by Eugene Kennedy. Dr. Kennedy is a former Jesuit who left to marry. He is a Professor Emeritus of Psychology at Loyola university and is a syndicated columnist. He lives with his psychiatrist wife in Chicago.

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    1. "This division of mind and body via perfection vs human natural emotion and need is truly against nature." Well stated Dennis. This division also leads to mistrusting the self because it's impossible to live up to Platonic Ideals. Mistrust the self and you by will mistrust others. This dynamic is one of the core concepts Vatican II was attempting to change. The idea was to see humanity as evolving towards perfection, spiritual depth, and maturity--and the Church as the Body of Christ on the same pilgrimage.

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  8. It is because it is in the area of sexual morality that is the major ethical issue of our time, other then bioethics, human rights, abortion, euthanasia, etc all of which the Church speaks out against. It is just that because of natural law, the secular world regards the same things as wrong as the Church, except in the area of sexual morality, because it is not being objective but thinking with its desires in mind.

    You cannot change catholic teaching.

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